It was the phone call that as a wife you never want to receive. That phone call came in the afternoon on March 5, 2008. My husband had been in a car wreck, and was headed to the hospital. They didn't tell me how bad it was, they didn't prepare me for what I was about to go through, they just said come to the hospital. So with my four kids aged 5 to 15 in tow I headed to the hospital. I told the young man at the desk who I was and who I was there to see. He was so young, he couldn't have been more than 20. He came around from behind the wall, I was sure he was going to let me go back to see my husband but instead he wanted me to go into a little room off from the emergency room, That's when my heart dropped. That's when I realized this was bad. So I did what any rational wife who sees her world crumpling around her would do. I refused to go in. I would not go in that little room. I could not go in that little room. It was not going to happen. They had to get someone out there right now who could tell me what was happening.
So they sent out a chaplain. A chaplain? I didn't need a chaplain! The chaplain then proceeded to tell me that the doctors were working on my husband and they did not know if he would make it. How could it be? They tried to once again direct me to that room. That room where they wanted me to go where they were going to tell me that bad news. Where I would be out of the way. Where I could sit alone with my kids and think about what had just happened. I would not go in that room.
I went out and sat in the emergency room waiting area with everyone else. There was a nice lady who offered my kids a bead set that they could play with. My youngest daughter made her dad a necklace and asked me to give it to him when I saw him, which I did. I am so thankful for that necklace. To me it is a physical memory of that day and a reminder of the kindness of a stranger.
My husband made it. Among his injuries he had three broken vertebrates in his neck, broken ribs, a bruised kidney and liver, a punctured lung, and a traumatic brain injury. It was long and hard recovery. One that is still not over. One that has resulted in more surgeries than we care to count, and he is now on permanent disability. We lost so much. We went through our small savings quickly. We bought groceries with gift cards given to us by friends, sold our newer cars, and once were only able to make our house payment because of an unexpected check that came in the mail. There were lots of prayers, lots of scary times, and lots of times when you knew we were only making it through because God was providing for us. One day I may write of everything that went on during that time but that time is not now.
We prayed a lot during those days. I mean a lot. We also thanked God for each blessing He sent our way. We glorified Him even for the smallest of things. We were thankful. Many asked us how we could be so positive during this time. It was because we knew God was with us. This could have easily broken our faith in God. We could have easily questioned why us and why God let this happen but we didn't. Instead we allowed it to grow our faith in God, and we allowed him to bless us.
For us so much good came from this. My husband who worked 60-70 hour weeks was able to spend time with his kids. Kids that he loved but didn't know because he worked so much. Our marriage was falling apart at the time of this accident. But through it all God repaired our marriage. And most importantly God gave us a testimony to share with others. A testimony that we have repeated time and time again, making sure God is glorified each time we give it. God is good. God is faithful. And if you allow Him to God will take you through that bad time and use you for good on the other side.
Sometimes it easy to get caught up in our hard times. We can't see past the pain, the hurt, and the disaster that we see around us. You might feel abandoned by God, or that your prayers are going unanswered. Your body will ache with the pain that your heart is feeling. But this is when God is working the hardest on you. This is the time when He is pushing you to grow, watching over you the way we watch the plants in our garden grow. He is with you in that hard time, in that time that feels the darkest, but He has a plan. We need to have faith in those darkest moments that He has that plan in place and that He is preparing you for the plan.
As Romans 8:18 states, "The pain you've been feeling can't compare to the joy that is coming."It's when we doubt him, when we don't have faith in him during those hard times that we are not holding up to our end of the bargain. When we doubt Him, when we question His love for us in those hard time we are not letting Him do His work in us.
He has promised us that He will never leave us. Deuteronomy 31:6 tells us, "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you: he will never leave you nor forsake you." So in those hard times it is up to us to hold on to His promises and remind ourselves through the hard times that there will be blessings.
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